Escape from Planet Earth

TAKE 1: One Man’s Opinion

…because film is largely subjective

by Frederick William Springer III

Escape from Planet Earth

Release Date:  15 February 2013                                                            Runtime:  89 Minutes     

Review Date:  14 April 2013                                                                   Rating:  2.5 (of 6)

     Escape from Planet Earth, while not a bad movie per say, was one that failed to capture my imagination or interest.  Not even the voice talent of William Shatner could rein me in.  (Nor Rob Corddry, Brendan Fraser, Sarah Jessica Parker, Ricky Gervais, Sofia Vergara, Jessica Alba, George Lopez…)

Warm Bodies

TAKE 1: One Man’s Opinion

…because film is largely subjective

by Frederick William Springer III

 

Warm Bodies

Release Date:  1 February 2013                                                             Runtime:  98 Minutes              

Review Date:  14 April 2013                                                                  Rating:  3 (of 6)

     While a different and interesting idea—a zombie with feelings and the capacity to love—ultimately Warm Bodies was slow and, in parts, even boring;  which, I guess, may be appropriate as I imagine that’s what a zombie’s life is like anyhow and we are told the story from zombie R’s perspective.

     I would have enjoyed seeing more of Rob Corddry, who had a small supporting role as M, as I usually enjoy his performances.

     I do question if there was a zombie walking around with brains in his pocket for several days, fresh when he obtained them, that there wouldn’t be an offending odor.  I would also question, zombies being rotting corpses and all, wouldn’t they reek horribly, so much so that they’d make people automatically retch?  They do kind of dismissively touch on the latter with an off-handed comment, just saying they don’t, but I’m sure the brains in your pocket thing would still smell pretty bad.

     I also don’t get how the skeletons are faster than the zombie corpses.  You might justify that by them not having meat on their bones that they’re actually lighter so they can run faster.  But at the same time, they don’t have muscles, or very little of them remain.  Yet, the skeletons are also portrayed as extremely powerful but, again, have no muscles.  So, I don’t get that.

     It did have its humorous parts, but they were far apart most of the time.  So, again, slow and boring.  In fact, if this hadn’t been the case, I don’t know that I would have had time to ponder and then dwell on the questions that came to mind above.  In fact, of all the zombie movies I’ve ever seen (and there have been many), I have never once questioned that they should smell and should probably do so to the point of enacting one’s gag reflex but, if I ever write my own zombie movie, I now know that that is something that will need to be addressed—zombies can’t sneak up on you because you’ll smell them coming unless our noses become so desensitized because the whole world now permanently smells that way.  So, thank you for that Warm Bodies.

     Another question:  Having been based upon a book, how did the theatrical version fair against it?  Unfortunately, the movie left me no desire to find out for myself.

Identity Thief

TAKE 1: One Man’s Opinion

…because film is largely subjective
 

by Frederick William Springer III

Identity Thief

Release Date:  8 February 2013                                                           Runtime:  111 Minutes              

Review Date:  14 April 2013                                                                Rating:  4 (of 6)

     Short and sweet:  Identity Thief was a cute, fun film.  Jason Bateman was a pleasure to watch.  And Robert Patrick’s brief supporting role only enhanced the movie as a whole. 

A Good Day to Die Hard

TAKE 1: One Man’s Opinion

…because film is largely subjective

by Frederick William Springer III

 

A Good Day to Die Hard

Release Date:   14 February 2013                                                          Runtime:  98 Minutes              

Review Date:  14 April 2013                                                                  Rating:  5 (of 6)

     Yippe-ki-yay!  A Good Day to Die Hard is an action-packed, popcorn flick with a soundtrack that helps roll it along.  For franchise continuity purposes, I haven’t seen the first 3 movies in over a decade and the preceding installment for several years so I don’t know if it holds up what they set up but as a standalone film it does quite nicely.

     Continuing with the rolling along theme (perhaps better suited if I was going over Die Hard with a Vengeance which had “Johnny Goes Marching On” built into its soundtrack), it’s easy to overlook some of the discrepancies.  Mainly how—the others having well-established John McClane as a little off-balance—John assaults civilians and partakes in grand theft auto (again, from a civilian) while in a foreign country (Russia!) where such offences would be amplified seems like a bit of a stretch even for him.  And then you take one of these cars and John’s driving it on the roofs of other cars stuck in highway traffic, potentially injuring and killing a whole slew of civilians—for all we know, those civilians were injured or killed since the movie never touches on this again—not to mention property damage, makes it even more ridiculous.

     You also have the scenario where the bad guys are traveling to a remote location by helicopter while our heroes, John and his son Jake, travel by car and yet somehow the car gets there relatively soon after the helicopter touches down doesn’t really seem to fly.  Just for a finishing touch, when returning to the United States, you would think that after everything they’ve been through that maybe, just maybe, Jake’s mom would be there to see him home (as does his sister), happy that he’s alive.  I guess she could have been detained somewhere else, I don’t really remember if the preceding installment mentioned what became of her though I recall John and her being separated or divorced in Vengeance*, but considering the situation I’m pretty sure my mom would make damn sure she was there.

    But those little things you can kind of overlook and gloss over with the fast pace of the movie and the story moving along, no time to really sit and dwell on it (unless, of course, you intend to write a review of some kind and you want to try and make yourself remember the point so you can mention it later in your writings, haha).

*They were separated in Vengeance and divorced in Live Free or Die.

Django Unchained

TAKE 1: One Man’s Opinion

…because film is largely subjective

by Frederick William Springer III

 

Django Unchained

Release Date:  25 December 2012                                                        Runtime:  165 Minutes              

Review Date:  17 March 2013                                                               Rating:  4 (of 6)

     Django Unchained is a well put together, enjoyable tale with a good pace, though there are certainly cuts that could have been made to fine tune it still. 

     Here, my faith in Samuel L. Jackson’s ability to act has been restored.  His brief appearances in the Marvel movies culminating in a main role in The Avengers all fell flat to me.  Worse than flat—phony.

     I’ll go on record saying I don’t like Jonah Hill.  Fortunately, his role is brief, limited to what’s in the trailer, so his presence didn’t taint the rest of the film.  Conversely, I am a fan of Amber Tamblyn and would have liked to have seen more of her rather than a momentary appearance in a window which left me asking if I had, in fact, just seen her.  I’m also a big fan of Kerry Washington, her work in Scandal spectacular, and I wouldn’t have minded seeing more of her onscreen, too.  However, understandably, this movie is named Django not Broomhilda.

     There are a couple scenes with a woman seemingly dressed to conceal the fact that she is a woman, appearing as though it would be the setup of some future plot twist but nothing ever came of it or her. 

     I think the controversy, largely propagated by those that never even saw the film (and so were ignorant as to what occurred), was completely misplaced.  Django Unchained in no way, shape or form glorified slavery.  In fact, its depiction of the slave trade, those that supported and perpetrated it, is deplorable and apprehensible.  As for the use of the word “nigger,” this is a period piece and that is how people spoke at the time, especially slave owners and overseers.  I didn’t feel it was used gratuitously or lightly.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

TAKE 1: One Man’s Opinion

…because film is largely subjective

by Frederick William Springer III

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Release Date:  14 December 2012                                                       Runtime:  169 Minutes              
Review Date:  10 March 2013                                                              Rating:  3 (of 6)

     With magnificently breathtaking set design and scenery along with high craftsmanship costumes and props and a roving camera with a good eye to capture it all, we are easily, believably transported to the realm of Middle Earth.

     However, An Unexpected Journey turned out not to be in reference to Bilbo’s adventure but to how bored I was with this film, very much surprising me as, of the books, I found the Hobbit more enjoyable than The Lord of the Rings trilogy by leaps and bounds but it appears a complete reversal has taken place when it comes to the movie versions.

     This is perhaps due to the relationship between Frodo, Samwise, Pippin and Merry at the core (and the rest of the company to a lesser extent) in which one could relate to and invest in whereas here there is no such connection with Bilbo and the dwarf entourage (that indistinctively blend into one another), feelings and emotions falling flat.

     While not a bad film, it’s not one I’d have any interest viewing again.

Rise of the Guardians

TAKE 1: One Man’s Opinion

…because film is largely subjective 

by Frederick William Springer III

 

Rise of the Guardians

Release Date:  21 November 2012                                                        Runtime:  97 Minutes              

Review Date:  5 March 2013                                                                  Rating:  5 (of 6)

     If you can put aside the fact that the collective cultural Santa Clause as known today has his origins in many places, NONE of them being Russia (I don’t know if this ridiculousness originates in the book which the movie is based or one propagated by the filmmakers*), Rise of the Guardians is a cute movie with plenty of sentimental moments--Jack Frost the heart of the story, a misfit yearning to learn where he fits in, a lone wolf by circumstance rather than desire.

     All in all, the film makes me miss being a kid.  The 3D is pretty cool, too!

 

*It does, in fact, originate in the books, plural.  Despite this, the Guardians of Children series will be entering my reading queue.