Escape from Planet Earth

TAKE 1: One Man’s Opinion

…because film is largely subjective

by Frederick William Springer III

Escape from Planet Earth

Release Date:  15 February 2013                                                            Runtime:  89 Minutes     

Review Date:  14 April 2013                                                                   Rating:  2.5 (of 6)

     Escape from Planet Earth, while not a bad movie per say, was one that failed to capture my imagination or interest.  Not even the voice talent of William Shatner could rein me in.  (Nor Rob Corddry, Brendan Fraser, Sarah Jessica Parker, Ricky Gervais, Sofia Vergara, Jessica Alba, George Lopez…)

Warm Bodies

TAKE 1: One Man’s Opinion

…because film is largely subjective

by Frederick William Springer III

 

Warm Bodies

Release Date:  1 February 2013                                                             Runtime:  98 Minutes              

Review Date:  14 April 2013                                                                  Rating:  3 (of 6)

     While a different and interesting idea—a zombie with feelings and the capacity to love—ultimately Warm Bodies was slow and, in parts, even boring;  which, I guess, may be appropriate as I imagine that’s what a zombie’s life is like anyhow and we are told the story from zombie R’s perspective.

     I would have enjoyed seeing more of Rob Corddry, who had a small supporting role as M, as I usually enjoy his performances.

     I do question if there was a zombie walking around with brains in his pocket for several days, fresh when he obtained them, that there wouldn’t be an offending odor.  I would also question, zombies being rotting corpses and all, wouldn’t they reek horribly, so much so that they’d make people automatically retch?  They do kind of dismissively touch on the latter with an off-handed comment, just saying they don’t, but I’m sure the brains in your pocket thing would still smell pretty bad.

     I also don’t get how the skeletons are faster than the zombie corpses.  You might justify that by them not having meat on their bones that they’re actually lighter so they can run faster.  But at the same time, they don’t have muscles, or very little of them remain.  Yet, the skeletons are also portrayed as extremely powerful but, again, have no muscles.  So, I don’t get that.

     It did have its humorous parts, but they were far apart most of the time.  So, again, slow and boring.  In fact, if this hadn’t been the case, I don’t know that I would have had time to ponder and then dwell on the questions that came to mind above.  In fact, of all the zombie movies I’ve ever seen (and there have been many), I have never once questioned that they should smell and should probably do so to the point of enacting one’s gag reflex but, if I ever write my own zombie movie, I now know that that is something that will need to be addressed—zombies can’t sneak up on you because you’ll smell them coming unless our noses become so desensitized because the whole world now permanently smells that way.  So, thank you for that Warm Bodies.

     Another question:  Having been based upon a book, how did the theatrical version fair against it?  Unfortunately, the movie left me no desire to find out for myself.

Identity Thief

TAKE 1: One Man’s Opinion

…because film is largely subjective
 

by Frederick William Springer III

Identity Thief

Release Date:  8 February 2013                                                           Runtime:  111 Minutes              

Review Date:  14 April 2013                                                                Rating:  4 (of 6)

     Short and sweet:  Identity Thief was a cute, fun film.  Jason Bateman was a pleasure to watch.  And Robert Patrick’s brief supporting role only enhanced the movie as a whole. 

A Good Day to Die Hard

TAKE 1: One Man’s Opinion

…because film is largely subjective

by Frederick William Springer III

 

A Good Day to Die Hard

Release Date:   14 February 2013                                                          Runtime:  98 Minutes              

Review Date:  14 April 2013                                                                  Rating:  5 (of 6)

     Yippe-ki-yay!  A Good Day to Die Hard is an action-packed, popcorn flick with a soundtrack that helps roll it along.  For franchise continuity purposes, I haven’t seen the first 3 movies in over a decade and the preceding installment for several years so I don’t know if it holds up what they set up but as a standalone film it does quite nicely.

     Continuing with the rolling along theme (perhaps better suited if I was going over Die Hard with a Vengeance which had “Johnny Goes Marching On” built into its soundtrack), it’s easy to overlook some of the discrepancies.  Mainly how—the others having well-established John McClane as a little off-balance—John assaults civilians and partakes in grand theft auto (again, from a civilian) while in a foreign country (Russia!) where such offences would be amplified seems like a bit of a stretch even for him.  And then you take one of these cars and John’s driving it on the roofs of other cars stuck in highway traffic, potentially injuring and killing a whole slew of civilians—for all we know, those civilians were injured or killed since the movie never touches on this again—not to mention property damage, makes it even more ridiculous.

     You also have the scenario where the bad guys are traveling to a remote location by helicopter while our heroes, John and his son Jake, travel by car and yet somehow the car gets there relatively soon after the helicopter touches down doesn’t really seem to fly.  Just for a finishing touch, when returning to the United States, you would think that after everything they’ve been through that maybe, just maybe, Jake’s mom would be there to see him home (as does his sister), happy that he’s alive.  I guess she could have been detained somewhere else, I don’t really remember if the preceding installment mentioned what became of her though I recall John and her being separated or divorced in Vengeance*, but considering the situation I’m pretty sure my mom would make damn sure she was there.

    But those little things you can kind of overlook and gloss over with the fast pace of the movie and the story moving along, no time to really sit and dwell on it (unless, of course, you intend to write a review of some kind and you want to try and make yourself remember the point so you can mention it later in your writings, haha).

*They were separated in Vengeance and divorced in Live Free or Die.